How does one become addicted? Is it hereditary? Are we conditioned into such a lifestyle? Or do we decide that is the path we want to go? What happens in a person’s life which drives them to this alternative? Can intelligent people who have something going for themselves become addicted? Each of us have to answer that for ourselves.
You always think it is never going to happen to you. That you are just being cool. After all, your parents drink socially and some relatives drink and do drugs. They look cool doing it. So you watch and wait, hoping that the day will come when you will be old enough to do what they are doing.
Somehow you never see the end result, that after each social drink, comes drunkenness, the fights, the fear. That never registers. After awhile this becomes accepted as natural. Nothing seems to be wrong with any of what is going on.
So when your buddies in school offer you pot, there is nothing wrong with it because after all, this lifestyle seems to be the norm.
One decision and then another. There is a point where you are in control of your decisions. The drug doesn’t have you yet. Then there comes a day when you yield your will to the slave master who has no mercy on you. In that state there is no rest. You grow tired but your pleas fall on deaf ears.
More decisions. You had a chance to stop, to get out, to never start, to quit. There is something about skirting with death. Perhaps you want to see just how low you can go. And you do go lower than you could ever imagine. Even your friends don’t understand. It’s funny those you once got high with have moved on, gotten themselves together. Now, they look at you and say, “when are you going to get yourself together?”
Shame. Shame. Shame. You grow through every stage of human humiliation. You adapt. You tell yourself it’s okay, you’re okay.
You have your moments when you make decisions which could lead to the first step out. But it’s only for a little while. The drug is calling its slave back to work.
I spent 20 years in that state. I surrendered my will, sold my soul, until there was no dignity left within me. A life that I thought I was in charge of, had it going on.
Morning does come. A dawn of a new day. My change did take place. Drugs and alcohol are no longer rulers of my soul. I’ve taken back my soul from HELL. It seems like a bad dream but it was real.
I look forward to every day with purpose. I get to tell another brother, or sister, that it is not impossible. That the impossible can be made possible.
PEACE I send to your heart and mind today in whatever state you find yourself. There is a light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Peace Out!
Greg Hammonds.
You can read more about my life at http://www.authorsden.com/gregoryhammonds. Or come right back here another day to hear the mysteries of moving from addict to wholeness.